I feel like a kid

Because I feel like I'm getting treated like one.


FAAAAAAACK.


I really need to win that $36 million in mydream that I had so I can move out.... o__O

Alone?

I need to seriously just SETTLE DOWN.

Holy fuck.


I can't even laugh anymore.


Or cry.


Heard through the grapevine he's sorry...but I wish he'd tell me this in person. It wasn't fair how things ended.

Baaahh screw you.....

I Want Somebody

I can't really call him can I?

I really want to do the whole Jenna Marbles thing and be like "Hey, I like you!"

But I don't know if I do.


What a horrible feeling.


This was ALL your fault, Mr. I-Don't-Deserve-You. Of course you did. You screwed it up.



Idiot.

I Got A Reply.....

So I sent him a text today saying "I have a feeling you'll ignore this text but I'm sending it anyways. It's been a while! How have you been? :-)"

Then the reply:


"Wish you the best"



Honestly I started crying just a bit, then he sent me another.



"I don't deserve the kindness, not worth the time, but thank you."



Instead of getting closure, which I was kind of hoping for but not really, I got this.

So....here I am.....hoping he'll SNAP the HELL out of it but he won't. It makes me sad.

바보 같아~

年下の子を好きにはならないって

2年前の馬鹿野郎と付き合って

別れて

決めたんじゃないの？

じゃあ・・・・何故？

また大人気ない子と付き合う気？

ちょっと違うと言いたいけど

多分同じタイプだし

って言うか、これ全部元彼のせいだよね

別れなければこんなに馬鹿げたことしてなかったと思うし

チョッパーがこっち見てるのがちょっと痛いわ・・・・

우리

정말

사랑했잖아........................

되돌릴 순 없는 건가요?

오늘 반 나만이 아파요...... 

Finals

I had motivation last time finals were around





Now I have none.





Isn't that sad? -_______-







I just want this semester to be over......




I just want this whole nightmare to be over.....

BRGs Ruin Me

When I don't want a boyfriend I end up meeting boys.


When I do want one nothing comes around.


This time I didn't want one and TWO came along.


Damn you, BRGs.

Why must you ruin me T T



AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA I CAN'T PICK!!!!!!!!!!!!!! T T

Texts I Can't Send

I can't send you texts. Or I feel like I shouldn't.


But as much as I want to....I don't want to seem clingy/super annoying.



I just want to say good luck at Pan Ams.....



Maybe I'll just say it here.









Is that ok?







Well.....you won't reply to my texts anyways.


So here goes.



"Good luck at Pan Ams! :-) I know you'll do great.
(You don't have to reply or anything, I understand) <-this was in the text originally.
I hope everything else is good otherwise."



.........................


On the other hand, my sisters are off to Nationals for wrestling as well! I hope they both do well. I sort of miss wrestling, but not the competing part. Just everything else that goes with it.


.........................

Root Cause?

What the hell am I doing with my life is what I think sometimes.



And well I still feel stress...but a different kind of stress. It seems like all I do is crap to you.







So I decided to stop being such a baby about it and just keep things to myself.






Can you please leave me alone for a while?

It's Official

I'm getting

1. Ignored via text

2. Deleted off from EVERYTHING (Facebok, Google Chat (ignored) AND Twitter)

and best of all

3. I don't even know what to do.



Man, this is like Matt Chan all over again.




Except this time I actually liked the guy.



And last time this sort of thing happened it took me a good freaking YEAR to start talking again.




This is so immature. I'm freaking pissed off here.




Forget about everything I ever said in this blog here.




This is the truth right now.


As of this moment.




I need to start.................



forgetting.





I know I don't want to.




BUT it is something I have to do.






One last cry won't hurt, right?

T T

Unacceptable

I'm just getting deleted out of nowhere.


This is just great, isn't it!?!





"I still think you're a nice girl and I want to be friends with you."



Really?








I don't see it. Oh well. Your loss I guess.

----------------------------------------------------------

It is snowing like a mo-fo up on campus. Bahhhh humbug.










I'm such a Grinch. LOL

Thanks

I was scrolling through Facebook, kind of angry a moment back.


Then I saw this comment by my friend Ben.




"I quite appreciate the compliment, but you give yourself too little credit. Look at you! A shining example of class if I ever saw one eh! ;)"




Thanks Ben, you really made my day. 




I was ready to rip someone's head off right now, particularly someone who all of my rants have been about.....




And here I saw this comment. And it made me laugh,
and I thought hey, we do look classy.








..............man, I want those suspenders LOL XD

Miss you, Ben! Hope Colorado is treating you well :)

You Heartless Jerk

You heartless jerk.


Just because you say it's just you, and that I will get over it doesn't mean it's THAT easy.



Seeing happy people makes me depressed.



THAT is what you have done.



I'm sorry, I think you've made a HUUGGEE mistake.











And I'm gonna make you crawl back SOOOOO MUCH.








You don't believe me?

Watch me.

I am NOT your FRIEND, DAMN IT!

So my friend....actually

she doesn't even deserve that title.

She's more of an acquaintance of mine. I was FORCED to be her friend.

There were reasons why she and I could never be best friends, even though she insisted we hang out and such.

1. What a bossy brat. Literally, she used to tell me what to do and I would be thinking why am I listening to this short little girl who looks like a foot. 
2. The constant nagging. Really, we get it. It's funny for like 2 minutes. Then drop it please. And if I said no comment, it MEANS NO COMMENT.
3. She would ALWAYS tell me about her relationships. And she always made the point to tell me TOO MUCH INFO. I DON'T want to know about your sex life, ok? 
4. She tries not to brag, but we ALL KNOW YOU ARE BRAGGING!
5. Her stupid ex-roommate was my ex-boyfriend. 

Of all these reasons, and I usually never hate on people but GOSH DARN IT she REALLY KNEW how to grind my gears.

And why does she end up happy always? :(

It's not fair.


But then again, here I am complaining in my room.


Man, I'm gonna turn into a cat lady.

Except I'm allergic to cats......................................



DAMN IT!

Oh Torres

This morning I woke up to tweets about Torres's Chelsea debut vs. Liverpool. 

Isn't it weird, in 2007 his EPL debut was against Chelsea.

I recorded that match on my crappy little TV we had before on tape.

I clearly remember that Torres scored a beautiful goal that launched him into his stardom at Anfield. 

My friends bought me a Liverpool away kit for my 18th birthday to go with my Spain one I got for my 17th birthday..........

And now...........

Now...................

It's like someone tore my heart and bled BLUE all over it.

¿Por qué, Torres? :(